All Things Chap, Some Things Daddy
Dad Duty is a collection of thoughts on life with two kids, the Dad Life, “Dadly” duties like cooking in bulk for a family of four, and everything in between.
This is also where the adjective “Dadly” was born, a word meant to describe individuals who wholeheartedly embrace the Dad Life, consider it a vocation of some sorts, and use the limitations of parenting to concentrate fully on a selected set of options, tasks and routines rather than constantly craving “to be otherwise, to be elsewhere,” as the Buddhists describe.
Cicero once wrote that to be completely free, one must become “a slave to a set of laws”. As discussed in “Life With Two”, accepting these limitations, especially when they are meaningful in and of themselves, can actually be very liberating, though modern society can sometimes promote the opposite.
Or, as Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi points out in his book “Flow”, fully “clocking in” for Dad Duty on a daily basis frees you from the need to think about life pre-kids, without kids, or simply whether the grass might be greener somewhere else. “As a result, a great deal of energy gets freed up for living, instead of being spent on wondering about how to live.”
Embracing the “Dad Life”, being “Dadly”, and “clocking in” for Dad Duty are just phrases meant to shed some perspective and humor on what is otherwise a serious, challenging, and all-consuming sacrifice and devotion to a fellow human (or humans).
I hope you find these discussions useful.
If we all had more time each day to call our own, how would we use it? Writers, poets, artists, philosophers, and politicians have chewed on both components of this question for centuries. They’ve talked about “elevating everydayness” with the Continue reading Homemade Pesto
Roxy the Hound passed away a little over a year ago – this was written for family to capture our transition to a life without her around. Sometimes you’ll hear her still walking upstairs,Or snoring alone in her bed.Sometimes you’ll Continue reading Ode to Roxy
The Fallacy of Service – Part Two In “The Fallacy of Service – Part One,” we talked about the fallacy of “public service” and our misguided tendency to place “the abstract over the practical,” or the “professor over the plumber” Continue reading Thank You For Your Service
The “Public Service” Fallacy Most of us are familiar with the fallacy of achievement. Philosophy, religion, and now even the burgeoning self-help industry each highlight the ancient wisdom which warns us against relying on external achievement for the fulfillment of Continue reading The Fallacy of Service – Part One
“What do you want to be when you grow up?” We’ve all been asked this question, and frankly many of us, even in our 30’s and 40’s, may still ask it to ourselves on a regular basis. The standard responses Continue reading Dad Duty – What do you want to be when you grow up?
Dads should know how to cook in bulk. While it is certainly great to know how to specialize in fancy meals that serve two, the majority of your attention in the kitchen (and outside, as we will see) should be Continue reading Dad Duty – Low Country Boil Recipe
There is a lot of material out there on how to be a good 21st century Dad.
Books and blogs are full of advice on how to be more present with your children, supportive to your spouse, and more involved as fathers than we used to be.
This is a good thing and a sign of progress.
What seems to be missing, though, is advice for the long game. How does one become a great granddad? Continue reading Dad Duty – Our Greatest Granddads
“So what’s it like with two?” The question isn’t referring to the number of cars you drive, dogs you walk, or homes you own – though all three situations would be nice. The question is referring to the number of Continue reading Dad Duty – Life with Two